Yellow, Red, and White Love
by renegadewriter8
Summary: A series of prompts for LJ Twins X Ratch Community October 2011 Challenge / Rating varies with each chapter SunnyXRatchXSides / Trigger Warning For Chapter 3: Miscarriage, you were warned!
1. Prompt: Scream It Out

**Title:** Scream It Out

**Week:** One  
><strong>Prompt:<strong> Scream It Out  
><strong>World:<strong> G1  
><strong>Character(s)  Pairing(s): **Ratchet, Sideswipe, Sunstreaker  
><strong>Rating: <strong>T cause I'm paranoid  
><strong>Warnings:<strong>mayor angst / slash if you squint, this could be taken as friendship or pre-slash...

**Author's Notes:  
><strong>- Written for the October twins_x_ratch challenge on Livejournal.**  
><strong>

**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! **

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Silence.

Eeerie silence.

It was the best way to describe the state of the med bay. The twins had no doubt that, had the lights been on, it would have been a gruesome sight.

Every single medical berth had a body on it, every single one in stasis due to the seriousness of their wounds, and because of the lack of medical supplies.

But the darkness hid them, hid their vulnerability. The only light came from the monitors attached to the broken frames keeping the fragile sparks pulsing.

Walking deeper into the med bay, they felt a substance on the floor, slightly sticky. They knew what they were stepping on. There hadn't been time for cleaning drones to do their job; not without being an interference in the medics' frantic race against time to save as many as their comrades as possible.

The darkness was a blessing. It made them believe they hadn't enter the pit, that they weren't walking over rivers of partially dried energon; the life source of their comrades. That the owners of the energon they carelessly stepped on were not fighting for their lives, some not even having gained that luxury.

But the knowledge reminded them of another, another who had been responsible for saving so many lives. One that suffered greatly, and died just a bit more when a spark extinguished in his servos.

Today, that one had held eight sparks in his servos, eight sparks that had extinguished, the energy slipping between his shaking fingers, eight lives that had disappeared right in front of those sorrow filled optics.

The twins stopped in front of Ratchet's office, ready to confront the mech, ready to offer any kind of comfort they could give to the mech that had cared deeply of them even after all the others had given up for being so 'troublesome' and 'violent'.

A soft voice from behind interrupted them.

"He's not here."

Both front-liners turned to stare at a mentally and physically exhausted First Aid, the apprentice's frame still splashed with energon.

"He's outside." He said tiredly, their demand not having to be voiced. "Good luck, it wasn't pretty." He murmured, leaving them to check on the patients.

The twins wasted no time, already knowing where the medic was going to be.

**000000000000000000000000**

There was a canyon a ways off their headquarters, leading deep into Cybertron. Not many went there, the black vastness of the giant opening intimidating, the urge to let it swallow you frightening.

Ratchet always went there. No one knew why. Rumors said it was because the medic wanted to leave the horrors of the war behind, the death he saw each joor, but never had the courage to take that final step into the abyss.

Not many had understood why the twins had slagged the mech that had mentioned that rumor in front of them, but no one ever mentioned it again.

The twins knew the real reason though. Not that Ratchet had told them, but they guessed, because they went there for the same reason.

The stars.

The lack of light from the canyon and the surrounding barren lands made the stars seem brighter, and much, _much_ closer. The silence and lack of any evidence of destruction brought peace.

A place where they could pretend the war never happened.

A place to seek solace.

**00000000000000000000000000**

They found Ratchet standing near the edge, head thrown back starring aimlessly at the sky. He looked… defeated.

They didn't like it. They didn't like it at all. Ratchet was supposed to be screaming, cursing up a storm and throwing wrenches at every moving thing. Be _alive_. Not this... not this broken mech.

"Ratch'?" Sideswipe called carefully. While they were sure Ratchet would never take the easy way out, would never leave behind his patients, the swaying of his exhausted frame so near the edge was worrying.

The medic jerked out of his stupor, but either than that didn't acknowledge them.

Sunstreaker shifted impatiently. "Come on medic, don't do this to yourself." He said, wanting to get closer, yet not wanting to scare the mech. He really was so close to the edge.

But the medic seemed to not have heard them.

"Eight lives I couldn't' save today." He whispered suddenly, voice thick with anguish and disbelief. "Eight sparks I held in my servos, watched them extinguish. Do you know, I watched as they _fought_ to stay alive? I saw the sparks struggle to live, struggle to stay in this _horrid_ war, they didn't want to leave. Fraggers." The medic trailed off, voice holding no real anger, seeming almost hollow.

The twins took a step closer.

"I knew one of them. He was going to bond. Digger was the name of his intended, they were going to ask Optimus to oversee their bonding. Stupid mech couldn't stop talking while I examined him. They wanted to have sparklings, lots of them, and once the war was over travel to other galaxies with them, see the beauty in some organic planets. He smiled like an idiot the whole time."

Sideswipe stepped to Ratchet's right, Sunstreaker getting closer to the medic's left, carefully watching the mech.

"Did you know, that when you hold a spark in your servos, you can _hear_ them?" He let out a sigh full of wonder and hurt. "Fragger begged me to save him. Didn't want to leave his intended, didn't want to crush their dreams, their future. He _begged_. All I could do, was say I was sorry." His voice cracked at the end, optics offlining, head falling forward as optic fluid silently trailed down his cheek-plates, frame shaking.

"He cried out his lover's name before he extinguished, the pain I felt was so raw I thought my own spark was being ripped out of my chamber."

Two pairs of arm gently encircled the medic, careful not to touch him. Not yet.

"And all I could do was say I was _sorry_!" He snarled, self-loathing thick in his voice. "I'm useless!"

He was startled when he onlined his optics to see himself surrounded. He tried to push the arms away, put they closed in on him, embracing him in a tight hold and forcing him further from the edge.

"Let go of me!"

"No." Sideswipe said. "We're not letting you do this alone."

"We're here for you." Sunstreaker said in a soft tone no one would link to the violent warrior. "And you're not useless."

"What do you know!" Hissed Ratchet, thrashing. "I killed a couple's happiness because I couldn't do anything! I killed their dreams! I couldn't- I couldn't-" His thrashing diminished, the tremors in his frame growing.

"I couldn't do anything." He breathed horrified. "I just.. he..I…" Silent sobs raked his body as more optic fluid escaped his optics, the medic trying to keep his composure in front of the twins, even when all he wanted to do was curl up in a corner and break down.

"We got you Ratch'" Sidewipe said gently. "Let it out. Let it all out, _scream_ it out."

"Let it out.." Sunstreaker repeated softly.

The sobs were growing, sorrowful sounds escaping the medic's clenched denta, yet he tried to resist.

"Let it out." They whispered in his audio.

And he did.

He let out a choked sob, falling to his knees. The twins followed, never once letting go.

Bending over, until his helm was almost touching the ground, Ratchet let out a scream, full of anguish and grief. It echoed through the canyon, the tortured sound seeming to travel everywhere sharing the pain.

Ratchet screamed and screamed, pouring all his anger, his anguish and loathing into his voice, screaming it out, letting it all out, getting rid of everything.

The stars above seemed to brightened even more, as if the hurt had reached them and were crying.

All the while, the twins held on to the medic, offering reassuring words, soothing servos running over the medic's back, encouraging him.

And the medic continued to scream, to purge his sufferings into the black abyss, servos holding tightly onto the arms that kept him from falling to the ground, that kept him anchored.

He screamed in sorrow.

Not for himself. But for the lives destroyed, the futures lost, the time ripped away, the happiness that would never be.

He screamed in anger.

At Megatron, at the war, at the incapability of every mech for not being able to live in peace, at himself for not being able to do more.

He screamed and he screamed, letting it all out.

The twins never once let him go, they held him as he screamed into the night, letting the echos carry away his pain into the vast blackness, the stars their only witness.

**000000000000000**

Like?


	2. Prompt: First Time

**Title:** First Time  
><strong>Prompt:<strong> First Time  
><strong>World:<strong> G1  
><strong>Character(s)  Pairings(s): **Twins/Ratchet  
><strong>Rating: <strong>K  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>I can always dream they belong to me but sadly.. a dream is a dream... T.T

**Author's Note:**

**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!**

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There's a first for everything.

It could be the most mundane, normal thing, but everything had their first moment.

Sometimes, 'firsts' don't mean a lot, aren't even noticed. Some are too important to forget, and other times, they might mean nothing, but are the start of something beautiful.

Ratchet didn't know when his attraction for the twins began, and the twins had no idea when they had first started to feel protective of the medic, to see him as something _more_.

Oh they remembered _a lot_ of 'first time' events: their first meeting, the first wrench thrown at them, the first prank the twins played on the medic, the first time Ratchet had to fight for the twins' sparks on his med berth, the first time Sideswipe had been speechless and shocked by a payback prank courtesy of the medic, the first time Sunstreaker had allowed Ratchet to see one of his drawings… the list was endless.

Looking back, none of the three could determine which held more significance, which had brought them closer, allowed them into each other's worlds, nor which had been the first step to this surprising conclusion.

None cared, and treasured all of their 'firsts' jealously.

Yet, amongst all of their 'firsts' memories, there was only one event that mattered to them most, that would forever stay with them.

It could have been the first time the twins had asked to spend time with Ratchet. Or the first time Ratchet had agreed. Even their first kiss, their first night of passion in each other's arms, the first time the words 'I love you' were spoken.

But none of those times, no matter how precious, could compare to the first time they exposed their sparks to each other; nothing could replace the first time they had joined their sparks, and became one.

**00000000000000  
><strong>

**Like? **


	3. Prompt: Together We Are Strong

**Title: **Together We Are Strong  
><strong>Prompt:<strong> Together We Are Strong  
><strong>World:<strong> G1  
><strong>Character(s)  Pairing(s): **SunstreakerXRatchetXSideswipe  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T  
><strong>Warnings: <strong>miscarry, tissue warning  
><strong>Genre:<strong> Angst, hurt/comfort  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong>Do not own.

**Author's Note:**  
>- Written for the <strong>twins_x_ratch<strong> October challenge on Livejournal.

**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!**

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Ratchet stared down at the small grey frame laying on the medical berth. His servos itched to hold the body close, but he knew it would only make things worse.

How had he not seen the signs? He was a medic for Primus' sake! A fragging CMO, deemed the best medic alive and yet he had failed to-

"Ratch'?"

The medic's optics offlined at the pain in that voice, his servos clenched into fists, willing the trembling of his frame to simply _stop_. He had no right to be upset, to feel any hurt; it had all been his fault!

"Ratchet!"

Strong black arms surrounded him from behind, yet he remained still, ignoring the warmth the chassis flushed against his back radiated. He ignored the calls through their bond, the pleading, the crying, the soothing words. He ignored them, because he didn't deserve anything.

"Ratchet stop!" Was sobbed into his neck, the frame behind him joining in his tremors.

"Please Ratch' don't do this to yourself. You couldn't have known, it wasn't your fault! You don't deserve this pain."

_'Yes I do'_. He thought numbly, but it was heard, and was answered by identical keens.

He was suddenly turned around, servos grasping at his faceplates. "Look at me!"

Slowly, the medic onlined his optics, staring into the distraught face-plates of one of his bondmates.

"This, was _not_ your fault!"

"How can you say that?" Ratchet asked softly, optics shining with optic fluid. "How can you not blame me for losing our sparkling!" It was a demand for them to be angry at him, a plea for their forgiveness, a need to be told otherwise.

And that was just it, what no one had wanted to acknowledge, the pain too fresh; the death of their sparkling, minutes away from being brought into the world.

Sidesipwed clenched his optics shut, willing the optic fluid not to fall. He and Sunny were hurting, yes. But nothing could compare to the pain Ratchet was going through. He had been the carrier, he had nurtured and felt their sparkling grow, and when the time for the emergence came, he had felt how the sparkling slipped away.

"It wasn't your fault." Sideswipe repeated, searching for a way to lessen the pain in all their sparks. "These things just happen Ratch'."

But the medic would have none of it. He turned back to the small body. Their sparkling's faceplates seeming peaceful, almost as if he were in recharge. First Aid and Wheeljack had been the ones to extract the dead frame from him, both crying openly, not knowing what went wrong.

Everything had been going fine, the frame had been thriving with life, emotions running freely over the bond carrier and sparkling shared. The small spark ready to meet the world, his creators, to live.

That joy, that happiness and hope… it had suddenly vanished, replaced with the most crippling pain, the sparkling crying out in distress and fear. Everything had stared going wrong, monitors screaming, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe yelling and crying alongside a wailing Ratchet.

Then silence, the bond with their sparkling severed.

Forever.

The medic reached out a servo, gently touching the sparkling's face-plates, staring at optics that they would now never see onlined, full of curiosity and innocence, that would never experience the beauty of the world. He grasped a small servo, tiny fingers looking so fragile.

"Ratch'." A second pair of arms joined the black ones around his waist, pulling him back into two warm chassis.

"It's okay. It'll be okay." Sunstreaker whispered into his audios.

Would it? Could they go on?

"We'll get through this." Sideswipe said.

"Together." Added the yellow twin, burying his face-plates into the crying medic's neck.

Shaking, Ratchet placed his servos one the arms surrounding him, his grip almost desperate. He would blame himself for a long time, and for the moment he didn't believe he would ever truly heal, but for now, he would lean on the strength of his bondmates, steal from them the will to go on.

The three stood for what seemed like cycles, mourning what they had lost, finding comfort in each other.

They would get through this.

Because together, they were strong.

**FIN**

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	4. Prompt: Bonus Spirits

**Last of the October Challenge Drabbles **

**Hope you enjoyed it!**

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**Title:** Haunted  
><strong>Prompt:<strong> Spirits (bonus)  
><strong>World:<strong> G1  
><strong>Character(s)  Pairings(s):** Ratchet, Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, (they could be a pairing or not, up to you)  
><strong>Genre:<strong> horror, hurt/comfort  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T  
><strong>Warnings<strong>: gruesome death details...  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong>Do not own.

**Author's Note:**  
>- Written for the <strong>twins_x_ratch<strong> October challenge.  
>- Can be seen as a sequel to Scream It Out.<p>

**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!**

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_Stained servos grabbed at him, disfigured face-plates moaned in pain, expressions frozen in fear, anger, _anguish_._

Ratchet tried to pry the servos off his arms, but more and more appeared, holding him. Some optics held blame, anger, and even pity.

_'Why' they moaned. 'Why couldn't you save us?' _

_Ratchet twisted out of the grip of a femme's servo, three fingers missing, her chest-plates melted through, energon falling in small rivers all over her frame, onto the ground, and onto him. _

'_Why did you let us die?'_

_"I tried!" Ratchet screamed in despair, dodging a legless mech's servos, outstretched out toward him, only to come face to face-plates with an optic-less mech, arm severed and a hole in his helm._

_'Not good enough!' He yelled, the voice seeming to echo through the space he was in, almost like a far away muffled sound. _

_The medic pushed him away, turning to run into the endless darkness, the face-plates of mechs and femmes, even younglings chasing after him. _

_'You failed!' They wailed, both in pain and anger._

_A femme appeared in front of him, stopping him mid run, she flung herself onto his frame clinging desperately, optics broken and wild._

_'You made me leave my sparkling all alone in the world!' She screamed. 'Why didn't you find the leak in time! You could have saved me!' _

_With a keen, Ratchet managed to push her off, optics wide and fearful._

He kept running.

_"I'm sorry!" He yelled. "I'm so sorry!"_

_'You stole my future!' A mech yelled, throwing himself at Ratchet. 'My intended is spark-broken, alone, his world shattered! You did _nothing_!'_

_"I _tried_!" Ratchet yelled again, his voice begging for the bots to understand. "I tried! I really did! I'm so sorry!" He cried._

_The rusting remains of a crawling seeker grabbed at his leg 'My wings!" He wailed, his back raw with energon, cables sparkling and melted. "Give me back my wings! Give me back the freedom of the skies!'_

_The seeker was torn off him, replaced by a mini-bot who grabbed at his chest-plates, shaking the medic roughly. _

_'All you had to do, was find the virus in my systems and eliminate it!' He yelled. 'Why! Why didn't you mange something so simple! You watched me die!'_

_"_**No!**_ "_

_Strong arms surrounded him from behind, a large black frame, melted and with parts blown off tugging him backwards, until they fell into a dark, dense liquid. _

_'You classified me as a lost cause. You left me for dead while treating others. You didn't even spare me a glance!'_

_The voice seemed to be in his processor, the snarling as sharp as the claws around his neck. _

_"I'm sorry!" He screamed in his head, the viscous liquid entering through his mouth and seams, suffocating him. He thrashed, trying to get away but the servos around him tightened. _

_He realized with horror that the dark liquid he was in was energon. All around him, frames swam toward him, gabbing at him, frames rotten, falling apart, missing limbs and melted armor. They clawed at him, voices screaming in his head._

_'You did nothing!'_

_'You left me for dead!'_

_'Why didn't you save me!'_

_'My sparkling!'_

_'Murderer!'_

_'Give me back my future!'_

_'_**YOU FAILED!**_'_

**0000000000000000**

"_No_!"

"Ratchet!"

"I'm sorry!" He kept trashing against the arms that held him.

"Wake up!"

"Forgive me! I tired!"

"_RATCHET!_"

The medic's optics onlined with a start. For a moment he felt disoriented, white noise assaulting his audios. There were two figures bent over him, but there might as well have been nothing there; his optics not registering what they saw.

As his senses slowly came to, he realized how heated his frame was; vents working over time to cool him. Pants and _sobs_ left his vocalizer.

"Ratchet?"

He startled as a servo gently touched his shoulder. Rebooting his optics, the medic looked up into the concerned face-plates of Sunstreaker and Sideswipe.

"Wh- what happened?" He asked lamely, still disoriented. "Where-?"

"You were having a memory purge." Sunstreaker said, voice tight.

Shaking, Ratchet sat up, and looked around his room. It was dark, the twins sitting on the edge of his berth, servo outstretched toward him, almost afraid to touch him now that he was awake.

The medic let out a shaky sigh. It had happened again. Every time he lost someone, _they _would come back to remind him of his failures. He could still hear their pained wails, their accusations. They surrounded him like a veil, always present, always watching.

"Ratchet, what happened?"

Startled again, the medic adverted his optics from the pair.

"Ratch'?"

How could he tell them? Would they even believe such a tale?

"I am... haunted." He finally said, his voice barely a whisper.

There was a pause following his statement.

"Haunted?"

"Yes, haunted!" he screamed glaring at the twins. "The spirits of all the patients I've lost haunt me. They're my companions in the solitude of my dreams and sometimes when I'm awake. Every time I fall into recharge, they remind me of my failures." He said, voice heavy with grief. Grief, the twins realized, that Ratchet truly believed he had failed, that he deserved to have his recharge haunted by the dead sparks of those he didn't manage to save.

"Ratchet, it was never your fault. You always try." Sideswipe whispered.

"Well it's not enough, is it!" The medic snarled, whipping his head to glare at the red twin; the words of the femme still echoing in his processor.

The room was silent for a few moments. The twins meeting Ratchet's glare with ease.

Slowly, Sideswipe reached for him. At first, the medic jerked back, but having nowhere to go, he finally leaned into the touch.

The red twin climbed fully onto the berth, laying next to the medic, back against the wall. Sunstreaker laid down as well, pulling the medic into his arms while Sideswipe draped his own over both mechs.

"Ratchet, " Called the red twin. "Do you regret saving us? Every time we get hurt?"

The medic looked at him with wide optics. "What! No! Of course not why would you-"

"Do you regret saving Prime? Ironhide? Jazz, every time he comes back from an undercover mission?" Sunstreaker added.

"No! What-"

"Do you regret the lives of all the mechs and femmes you _have_ managed to save?"

"_No_!"

"Then stop blaming yourself doc." Sideswipe said with a small smile. "This is war. Some bots will die, but every spark currently pulsing is all thanks to _you_."

Ratchet opened his mouth to say something, but the yellow twin caught him off.

"These spirits of yours. They haunt you only because you truly believe you failed them. You didn't. You've saved their friends, their family. You gave everything you had to save them as well. Let yourself be happy for those bots you managed to bring back."

The white and red mech fell silent.

"We're at _war_, Ratchet." Sideswipe continued. "Bots _will_ die whether on your table or out there on the battlefield. It's inevitable. There are wounds that you won't be able to heal, bots that will reach you already gone."

"It's not your fault. Are you the one that shot at them? Did you blow them up? Cut them? Torture them-"

"Enough." Ratchet pleaded, burying his head into Sunstreaker's neck. "I- I know. I _know_!" He said shaking.

Ratchet believed in what the twins told him. But when the spirits came back to haunt him, every small detail was suddenly clear, and he saw what he could have done better, what was wrong, how he could have saved just _one _more bot.

"Concentrate on the living Ratchet. They are your greets achievement." Sideswipe said, cutting through his thoughts.

Ratchet mulled over these words, finding comfort in them. He had failed to save many, but had managed to save even more. The medic sighed. "How come you two always know what to say?" He asked, the voices of his spirits suddenly seeming farther away than they had ever been.

The twins smirked. "Cause we're always right."

Ratchet snorted, before another thought occurred to him.

"How the frag did you get into my quarters?"

The smirks fell right off.

**0000000000**

**Meeeh not really happy with this, was way more awesome in my mind. Might come back later to edit this..**


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